Let me clarify what I meant by “yuppies,” since many readers of this journal are indeed “young urban professionals.” The kind of young urban professional I was referring to embodies many of the following traits: they own a vehicle which is not more than 10 years old, and if they are living with another yuppie then each one owns a vehicle; public transportation is a distasteful if not wholly foreign concept to them, as is carpooling; they think of themselves as ‘cultured,’ yet rarely go to see live music, or theatre, or art exhibitions, or non-mainstream cinema, and furthermore do not support the arts with any sort of monetary donations; they buy 12-packs of bottled water instead of just buying a water-filtering pitcher; they usually have a pet dog, which they take with them everywhere in the neighborhood, usually tying the dog’s leash to a pole on the sidewalk while they do their shopping or dining, leaving the poor animal in the elements for perhaps hours at a time; their idea of alternative music is the Dave Matthews Band; their concept of the Golden Age of American Music are the years 1980-1989; their idea of jazz is Kenny G; on occasion they will order out $40 worth of Thai food, and when the delivery guy arrives, they will tip him about $2; they have never had a real martini, opting instead for ‘dirty martinis,’ apple-tinis,’ or some such other fake martini cocktails; they have no idea who their neighbors are, let alone know their names; they frequently talk on their cell phones while a person in a customer service position attempts to assist them; they use the word ‘skinny’ instead of ‘skim’ when ordering a latte, which by the way they will only drink with vanilla and/or caramel; they’re either political apathetic because they can’t be bothered to vote on Election Day, or negligibly Republican because they pereive that Republican politicians will leave them alone.

In conclusion, you should be assured that although I do in fact personally know people who fit that description, I don’t have any friends like that. So, dear reader, although you might be a ‘young urban professional,’ you are not who I was commenting about in my previous entry.