This is the limbo week: the week between Christmas and New Year’s Day. It doesn’t feel like 2003 really but it isn’t 2004 yet. Strange things always happen every year around this time for me. Sometimes it feels great, sort of existing outside of time, drifting along 7 days that don’t really count, lapse of accountability. And other times it’s extremely unsettling, no moorings to fasten on to, instability. Like, “Where am I?”

I’m a bit discombulated. This weekend was difficult for Andy and I. There were real highs and lows. Christmas Day was wonderful, and the 26th too. But then yesterday we took down the tree and the lights and everything around the apartment looks as it did before Christmas. And maybe we needed a bit of time apart from each other after 2 intense days of Christmas. None of our friends stepped in to provide that, or give us an excuse for some ‘time off’ however. And neither of us seemed brave enough to step up and say, “Can I be on my own for a bit?”

So Saturday and Sunday was a tango of mood swings: cranky, happy, cuddly, envy, serene, uncomfortable, smiling fuzzy Margarita mood courtesy of Las Pinatas followed by unpleasant tactlessness. Unsettled. I’m trusting things will settle down. But I regret last night. We ended the evening watching the “Vertigo” DVD he gave me for Christmas, but then I had to go to bed.

There’s so much pressure to experience CLOSURE during this week, the need to get things in order as the year ends. Sometimes that’s really tough, especially when you know that certain things just won’t be signed, sealed or delivered by December 31st.