Yes, I haven’t written in a while. It’s been a combo of inarticulation, ennui, and vague melancholy. I’m listening to an album by the Chico Hamilton Quintet right now, from 1957, and it’s wonderful. So refined and yet it still SWINGS HARD. I love that music can be more than one thing at once.

I played hooky from work yesterday and spent the morning drinking coffee and writing a draft of a letter to my biological father. His name is Gerry and he lives in Kansas. I have not seen him or been in contact with him at all since he and my mother got a divorce when I was 2. But I always knew that one day the right moment would come to get in touch with him. And, I don’t know why, I just feel like NOW is that moment. I’m 28 years old, and I’m at a point in my life where I want to know more about my past and my history. I did some research on the net and found his email address. I will mull over what I’ve written in my letter for a few days and then send it out. I’m not sure exactly what I want to come from this, only that I know I would regret not taking this chance.

Gerry’s mother, Rosemary, is still very close to the rest of my family, which may sound odd to an outsider but which has never felt odd to me. Two summers ago, shortly after my grandfather died, I visited Colorado and spent an afternoon with her. She took out a box of photographs. They were mostly of Gerry. There is one picture (which she gave me) that was taken of Gerry and my mother as they were on the way to their Senior High School Prom. He looks EXACTLY like me. The first time I saw it, I was speechless. Because I really don’t look like anyone else in my family. Some day I’ll post it on here so you can compare. Rosemary also gave me a picture of me when I just a baby, sitting on Gerry’s lap in an Olan Mills Photography studio. She showed me some more recent pictures of him too. If I age anything like him, as I get older I will start to look more and more like Richard Gere. This is oddly comforting.

Everything else is okay. More exciting news! The book is now available at Barbara’s Bookstore on Navy Pier (here in Chicago). This is a big coup for me, because Jessica, the manager, really likes the book and will help me get it stocked at the other 3 Barbara’s locations here in Chicago. More copies in circulation! As of today, there are 64 copies of the book out there. Only 436 left to go …

Valentine’s Day was great. Andy & I had our ‘fancy romantic’ dinner Friday night at Erwin, so on Saturday night we could just bum around at home. We ordered out for pizza and then did a double feature of “Mulholland Dr” and “Lost Highway.” Brilliant! The fact that Andy would want to do that with me on Valentine’s Day makes me love him all the more at this moment.