The original 1978 ‘Dawn of the Dead’ is in my top ten all-time fave movies, so I’ve been a bit dubious about this remake. Even more dubious when I heard that the zombies are now superfast and snarly. MTV-like. That’s one thing that was infinitely frightening to me about the original: the zombies are soul-less, creeping automatons, relentless animated primal instinct. And they’re really only dangerous when the humans get stupid or cocky. But they just keep on coming. There’s a sense of doom and dread rather than simply the shock of them jumping out at you. There’s a richness to the conception of the original DOTD that leaves room for reflection; and, as Leonard Maltin says, “The film jerks the viewer’s emotions around with stunning ease, as the zombies are, in turn, made horrific, clownish, heroic, and even forgotten completely.” I really liked ’28 Days Later’ just because I felt it was a variation on the theme rather than a ripoff; it had new things to say. This remake seems like a bit of a freeloader. I’m sure my curiousity will get the better of me and I’ll see it anyway …

On Sunday afternoon I called Rosemary, my grandmother, and we talked for awhile. I told her about getting in touch with Gerry (my biological father) and she was really pleased to hear about that. It turns out that she had already told him I was gay (I came out to him in my recent email but I haven’t received his reponse yet). After she told him, he reply was, “Well, Mom, some people are just born that way.”

So basically, my biological father, whom I have not seen since I was 2, sized up the situation more accurately than the parents who raised me.

But it makes sense. He can be a lot more objective about it, whereas my parents spent the first few years after my coming-out in the hand-wringing, where-did-we-go-wrong-as-parents phase.

Still, it made me feel good to hear Rosemary say that. And needless to say, I’m looking forward to Gerry’s next email. I know it may take awhile to get; he must be weighing his words very carefully.

Sometimes I think about myself as a combination of the choices I’ve made, and to a greater extent, the choices that have been made FOR me, those things I never had any control over. And it gives me an odd feeling to realize that everyone else is exactly the same. The egotist in me says that more people should be interested in me: I’m articulate, friendly, pretty open about things. The selfless part of me says that I should be more interested in others.