Here’s what there is. There’s the movie I originally thought up. There’s the screenplay I wrote. There’s the movie we actually shot, and the scenes we ended up with. There’s the movie I could have finished in 1997, but never did. And then there’s the movie I might be able to finish now, which may or may not have a lot in common with the one I originally thought up.
But here’s what Pause of the Clock might be about.
Rob and Dylan, two art students, are roommates. They share an apartment in the Logan Square neighborhood of Chicago. It’s the end of the summer. Rob returns from a trip to Colorado to see his family, and while he unpacks they catch up on each other’s lives. Dylan hasn’t been up to much of anything. Just going to work every day, reading Philip Roth at home in the evenings. Rob complains about how dull it is to go back home now.
But Rob’s written a screenplay entitled Crueler Than Truth, and while he was home he gave copies to some old friends to see what they thought. One of them, Gavin, comes to Chicago for a visit and agrees to act in the movie that Rob plans to make. Gavin calls Lesley, a mutual friend in Colorado, to report on his visit. Apparently, Chicago is really dirty and Rob is adept at making ramen. He passes the phone to Rob, and Rob talks to Lesley for awhile. Eventually he asks her if she’s read the script. She says she has, but she has mixed feelings about it. Particularly about the role that Rob has written for her. “Basically, I’d be playing myself. And I don’t want to play myself. That’s why it’s called acting. Movies aren’t real, they’re imaginary. With three or four of those scenes I’d be really uncomfortable,” she says.
Rob tries to tell her what he’s aiming for. “Think of it this way,” he says. “When you dream about someone, that’s not really them. It looks like them but it’s not them. Movies are like that. Movies are like a dream.”
Dylan wakes up one morning and goes to the kitchen. He’s in the apartment alone. He sings “Liza” to himself, goes to the kitchen and makes breakfast. Later, he goes into Rob’s bedroom. He opens a drawer, takes out a notebook. It’s Rob’s diary. He takes it back to the kitchen table, sits down, and begins reading it.
It’s wintertime now, time to shoot the movie. Rob flies to Colorado, along with his crew: Tchavdar, the cinematographer, an intense Bulgarian; and Phil, the sound man, an easy-going Midwesterner. Dylan comes along too. The morning of the big scene everyone assembles at Rob’s family’s house. Gavin, Lesley, and a few of Rob’s other old friends. Derrick, brash and direct. Scot, a sarcastic musician.
Everyone drives up to the mountains. We watch the filming of the big scene in real time: Tchavdar sets up the camera, Phil tests the sound levels, the actors rehearse, then Rob yells, “Action!” Gavin and Lesley plunge through the forest and up a snowbank, where they collapse laughing on the ground. Rob yells, “Cut!”
Dylan has taken Rob’s notebook with him to Colorado and continues reading it. We witness various scenes. Are they moments that Rob has written about in the diary, or scenes that appear in the movie they’re shooting? Derrick showers, sings “Liza” in the shower, then begins to shave. Rob shaves, the razor scraping across his face. He cuts himself. Derrick and Rob discuss Rob’s brother, who Derrick insists used to imitate him. Rob meets his brother at a bus station. They hug. Scot and Rob talk about God. Gavin and Lesley kiss passionately.
The shoot ends. Rob and Dylan return to Chicago. Life more or less continues as before, except that there seems to be some weird unspoken tension between the two roommates. Rob forgets to tell Dylan that someone called for him when he was out, and Dylan loses his temper. He goes to his room and begins drawing angrily.
It’s a lovely spring day. Dylan leaves the apartment, and then a few moments later Rob leaves too. An oddly-dressed man walks up to Dylan and says, “Excuse me sir, can you tell me which way is St. Louis?” Dylan turns around and points. The stranger thanks him and continues on his way. Seconds later he approaches Rob, takes out a knife, and stabs him. Rob falls to the sidewalk, motionless. The stranger calmly walks away.
Back in Colorado, Lesley opens a letter. As she reads it she begins weeping. Gavin embraces her.
Dylan is sick with the flu, lying on the couch under a blanket. The apartment is strangely empty of all other furniture. There’s a knock at the door at the door and Tchavdar comes in. He’s got a bottle of vodka and two shot glasses. He offers some to Dylan, who refuses, so he has some by himself. It’s clear he’s trying to comfort Dylan in some way but doesn’t know how. He notices a notebook nearby, picks it up, reads out loud from it. He realizes it’s Rob’s diary. He confronts Dylan about it, who only says, “I’ve read most of it.” Tchavdar tells him it isn’t worth his time; he should be reading the Bible instead.
Dylan is asleep and dreaming. He’s in an empty gymnasium, dribbling a basketball. Then inside a church, a huge shadowy sanctuary. Near the altar is a table, and seated behind the table is the oddly-dressed stranger. Dylan signs a form in several places and hands it to the man, who says, “Thank you. A pleasure doing business with you.” Dylan turns around. A woman with a pixie haircut, wearing a pink blouse and dark skirt, is standing at the altar.
“We thought you were dead,” Dylan says. “We went to your funeral.”
“I merely went out of town,” she says. “But I wanted you to think I was.”
“Well, we thought you were.”
“Do you know what life is, James?”
“Tell me,” Dylan says.
There is a long pause and then she says, “Next question.”

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