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Author Archives: robchristopher
3 things about Werner Herzog’s AGUIRRE: THE WRATH OF GOD
Aguirre: The Wrath of God [1972] 1. Rusty helmet, long and greasy brown-blond hair. 2. They pick at the algae growing between the logs of the raft and eat it. 3. He stares with trepidation at the squirming monkey. Looking as … Continue reading
Cocktails: Donn’s Revenge
Whipped this up only moments ago, using a bottle of Don’s Spices #2 from the excellent Trader Tiki. Don the Beachcomber (aka Donn Beach) always claimed that he invented the Mai Tai, but Trader Vic won the court case. Well, … Continue reading
3 things about Tom Hooper’s THE KING’S SPEECH
The King’s Speech [2010] 1. Fish-eye lens as they descend the stairs. 2. “F-f-f-f-fornication.” 3. He extends his pinkie and thumb and measures the distance between his mouth and the microphone.
3 things about Joel & Ethan Coen’s TRUE GRIT
True Grit [2010] 1. “If you would like to sleep in a coffin, it would be all right.” 2. He throws something into the river. An empty whiskey bottle bobs to the surface. 3. She accidentally tears open the corpse’s … Continue reading
3 things about Robert Altman’s GOSFORD PARK
Gosford Park [2001] 1. She lifts the lid and exclaims, “Yummy, yummy yum!” 2. “I’m the perfect servant. I have no life.” 3. He unhooks her dress then reaches around for her shoulder strap. “No, no, there’s one more–you’ll never … Continue reading
3 things about Paul Brickman’s RISKY BUSINESS
Risky Business [1983] 1. Camouflage jacket, hospital scrubs, big hair. “You’re probably going to Harvard.” 2. $4 hot chocolate at The Drake Hotel. 3. The voyeuristic bum takes a pull from his bottle. Brown paper bag.
3 things about David Fincher’s THE SOCIAL NETWORK
The Social Network [2010] 1. “Dating you is like dating a Stairmaster.” 2. CGI breath. Really? In Lost Horizon from 1937, Frank Capra created more realistic cold-air breath than this $40 million movie. Pathetic. 3. He snatches the laptop off … Continue reading
The Chicago Blizzard of 1999
This story is taken from my book 100 Spinning Plates: Justin and I didn’t know what we were going to do for New Year’s Eve. He was only 19, so going to a bar was out of the question—not that … Continue reading
3 things about Claude Lanzmann’s SHOAH (PART II)
Shoah (Part II) [1985] 1. He cannot speak. He continues cutting hair. 2. “It was pointless to tell the truth to anyone who had crossed the threshold of the crematorium.” 3. He told himself, “I’m the last Jew on earth. … Continue reading
3 things about Desmond Davis’ CLASH OF THE TITANS
Clash of the Titans [1981] 1. “Let loose the Kraken.” 2. Blood, maggots, scorpions. 3. He nonchalantly puts Perseus back on his feet.
