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Author Archives: robchristopher
3 things about YELLOW SUBMARINE
Yellow Submarine [1968] 1. Frankenstein’s cheeks puff in and out, then he blows up and turns into John Lennon, who says, “I’ve just had the strangest dream.” 2. The advancing dial skips from 1950 to 2000. 3. “Nothing is Beatleproof.”
3 things about BROTHERHOOD
Brotherhood [2009] 1. “You’re beautiful,” he tells the victim. Then his pals emerge from the shadows and begin beating the guy to a pulp. 2. I’m sorry, but you don’t wear an argyle sweater to your neo-Nazi initiation ceremony. 3. … Continue reading
3 things about I AM LOVE
I Am Love [2009] 1. Tilda Swinton in an electric blue dress. 2. A mottled breast. 3. He enters the chapel. Some raindrops visible on the shoulders of his jacket.
3 things about Ian Fitzgibbon’s A FILM WITH ME IN IT
A Film with Me in It [2008] 1. “Don’t go vegetarian on me now.” 2. He hurriedly wipes away the blood from the window frame. 3. While staring at the policewoman he threateningly munches on the toast.
3 things about THE HURT LOCKER
The Hurt Locker [2008] 1. A black circle on his abs. 2. Too many padlocks. 3. He stands alone in the cereal aisle, thoroughly bewildered.
3 things about Alfred Hitchcock’s NOTORIOUS
Notorious [1946] 1. She puts her hand on top of his and discreetly passes him the key. 2. The sound her body makes when she hits the floor. 3. He reaches over and quickly locks the door.
3 things about TO BE OR NOT TO BE
To Be or Not to Be [1942] 1. The crowd is dumbfounded. Then a little girl walks up to him and asks for his autograph. 2. Carole Lombard: “I prefer a slow encirclement.” 3. The way Jack Benny pronounces the word … Continue reading
3 things about THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo [2009] 1. The computer geek cradles his bottle of Coke as he looks over Lisbeth’s shoulder at her computer screen. 2. He’s wearing the same sweater in both photos? Really? 3. Dozens of polaroids, … Continue reading
3 things about CLEOPATRA
Cleopatra [1963] 1. “I am the Nile.” 2. He washes his face and hands, then tosses some powder into the fire. 3. “The soup is hot. The soup is cold. Mark Antony lives. Mark Antony is dead.”
3 things about BLUEBEARD
Bluebeard [2009] 1. The headless body of a duck flaps around on the grass. She can’t turn her eyes away. 2. She uses ashes from the fireplace to try to clean the bloody key, to no avail. 3. The final … Continue reading
