Author Archives: robchristopher

3 things about I AM LOVE

I Am Love [2009] 1. Tilda Swinton in an electric blue dress. 2. A mottled breast. 3. He enters the chapel. Some raindrops visible on the shoulders of his jacket.

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3 things about Ian Fitzgibbon’s A FILM WITH ME IN IT

A Film with Me in It [2008] 1. “Don’t go vegetarian on me now.” 2. He hurriedly wipes away the blood from the window frame. 3. While staring at the policewoman he threateningly munches on the toast.

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3 things about THE HURT LOCKER

The Hurt Locker [2008] 1. A black circle on his abs. 2. Too many padlocks. 3. He stands alone in the cereal aisle, thoroughly bewildered.

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3 things about Alfred Hitchcock’s NOTORIOUS

Notorious [1946] 1. She puts her hand on top of his and discreetly passes him the key. 2. The sound her body makes when she hits the floor. 3. He reaches over and quickly locks the door.

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3 things about TO BE OR NOT TO BE

To Be or Not to Be [1942] 1. The crowd is dumbfounded. Then a little girl walks up to him and asks for his autograph. 2. Carole Lombard: “I prefer a slow encirclement.” 3. The way Jack Benny pronounces the word … Continue reading →

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3 things about THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo [2009] 1. The computer geek cradles his bottle of Coke as he looks over Lisbeth’s shoulder at her computer screen. 2. He’s wearing the same sweater in both photos? Really? 3. Dozens of polaroids, … Continue reading →

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3 things about CLEOPATRA

Cleopatra [1963] 1. “I am the Nile.” 2. He washes his face and hands, then tosses some powder into the fire. 3. “The soup is hot. The soup is cold. Mark Antony lives. Mark Antony is dead.”

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3 things about BLUEBEARD

Bluebeard [2009] 1. The headless body of a duck flaps around on the grass. She can’t turn her eyes away. 2. She uses ashes from the fireplace to try to clean the bloody key, to no avail. 3. The final … Continue reading →

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3 things about Edward Cline’s MILLION DOLLAR LEGS

Million Dollar Legs [1932] 1. In Klopstokia everyone is named either George or Angela. 2. Ben Turpin as coat-rack. 3. A lever marked “Ham on Rye.” Another marked “With Mustard.”

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3 things about STEELYARD BLUES

Steelyard Blues [1973] 1. Peter Boyle munches on a pane of broken glass. 2. Peter Boyle does a Brando impression. 3. Peter Boyle holds up the bullet which he’s removed from the machine gun. “I just wanted to see where … Continue reading →

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