3 things about I AM LOVE

Posted on March 4, 2010 by robchristopher

I Am Love [2009]

1. Tilda Swinton in an electric blue dress.
2. A mottled breast.
3. He enters the chapel. Some raindrops visible on the shoulders of his jacket.

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3 things about Ian Fitzgibbon’s A FILM WITH ME IN IT

Posted on March 3, 2010 by robchristopher

A Film with Me in It [2008]

1. “Don’t go vegetarian on me now.”
2. He hurriedly wipes away the blood from the window frame.
3. While staring at the policewoman he threateningly munches on the toast.

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3 things about THE HURT LOCKER

Posted on March 2, 2010 by robchristopher

The Hurt Locker [2008]

1. A black circle on his abs.
2. Too many padlocks.
3. He stands alone in the cereal aisle, thoroughly bewildered.

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3 things about Alfred Hitchcock’s NOTORIOUS

Posted on March 1, 2010 by robchristopher

Notorious [1946]

1. She puts her hand on top of his and discreetly passes him the key.
2. The sound her body makes when she hits the floor.
3. He reaches over and quickly locks the door.

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3 things about TO BE OR NOT TO BE

Posted on March 1, 2010 by robchristopher

To Be or Not to Be [1942]

1. The crowd is dumbfounded. Then a little girl walks up to him and asks for his autograph.
2. Carole Lombard: “I prefer a slow encirclement.”
3. The way Jack Benny pronounces the word “outrageous.”

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3 things about THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO

Posted on February 28, 2010 by robchristopher

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo [2009]

1. The computer geek cradles his bottle of Coke as he looks over Lisbeth’s shoulder at her computer screen.
2. He’s wearing the same sweater in both photos? Really?
3. Dozens of polaroids, each with names and dates.

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3 things about CLEOPATRA

Posted on February 27, 2010 by robchristopher

Cleopatra [1963]

1. “I am the Nile.”
2. He washes his face and hands, then tosses some powder into the fire.
3. “The soup is hot. The soup is cold. Mark Antony lives. Mark Antony is dead.”

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3 things about BLUEBEARD

Posted on February 25, 2010 by robchristopher

Bluebeard [2009]

1. The headless body of a duck flaps around on the grass. She can’t turn her eyes away.
2. She uses ashes from the fireplace to try to clean the bloody key, to no avail.
3. The final image: lugubrious Salome.

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3 things about Edward Cline’s MILLION DOLLAR LEGS

Posted on February 22, 2010 by robchristopher

Million Dollar Legs [1932]

1. In Klopstokia everyone is named either George or Angela.
2. Ben Turpin as coat-rack.
3. A lever marked “Ham on Rye.” Another marked “With Mustard.”

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3 things about STEELYARD BLUES

Posted on February 22, 2010 by robchristopher

Steelyard Blues [1973]

1. Peter Boyle munches on a pane of broken glass.
2. Peter Boyle does a Brando impression.
3. Peter Boyle holds up the bullet which he’s removed from the machine gun. “I just wanted to see where you were at.”

There’s a pretty good reason you haven’t heard of this movie: it’s pretty lame.

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