RandomCha

Yes, I haven’t written in a while. It’s been a combo of inarticulation, ennui, and vague melancholy. I’m listening to an album by the Chico Hamilton Quintet right now, from 1957, and it’s wonderful. So refined and yet it still SWINGS HARD. I love that music can be more than one thing at once.

I played hooky from work yesterday and spent the morning drinking coffee and writing a draft of a letter to my biological father. His name is Gerry and he lives in Kansas. I have not seen him or been in contact with him at all since he and my mother got a divorce when I was 2. But I always knew that one day the right moment would come to get in touch with him. And, I don’t know why, I just feel like NOW is that moment. I’m 28 years old, and I’m at a point in my life where I want to know more about my past and my history. I did some research on the net and found his email address. I will mull over what I’ve written in my letter for a few days and then send it out. I’m not sure exactly what I want to come from this, only that I know I would regret not taking this chance.

Gerry’s mother, Rosemary, is still very close to the rest of my family, which may sound odd to an outsider but which has never felt odd to me. Two summers ago, shortly after my grandfather died, I visited Colorado and spent an afternoon with her. She took out a box of photographs. They were mostly of Gerry. There is one picture (which she gave me) that was taken of Gerry and my mother as they were on the way to their Senior High School Prom. He looks EXACTLY like me. The first time I saw it, I was speechless. Because I really don’t look like anyone else in my family. Some day I’ll post it on here so you can compare. Rosemary also gave me a picture of me when I just a baby, sitting on Gerry’s lap in an Olan Mills Photography studio. She showed me some more recent pictures of him too. If I age anything like him, as I get older I will start to look more and more like Richard Gere. This is oddly comforting.

Everything else is okay. More exciting news! The book is now available at Barbara’s Bookstore on Navy Pier (here in Chicago). This is a big coup for me, because Jessica, the manager, really likes the book and will help me get it stocked at the other 3 Barbara’s locations here in Chicago. More copies in circulation! As of today, there are 64 copies of the book out there. Only 436 left to go …

Valentine’s Day was great. Andy & I had our ‘fancy romantic’ dinner Friday night at Erwin, so on Saturday night we could just bum around at home. We ordered out for pizza and then did a double feature of “Mulholland Dr” and “Lost Highway.” Brilliant! The fact that Andy would want to do that with me on Valentine’s Day makes me love him all the more at this moment.

This is from pitchforkmedia.com … of course the article is flip & condescending as pitchfork usually is, but still exciting news!!

David Byrne Covers Lambchop, Verdi On Latest Album
Remain in lite-rock
[Posted Tuesday, February 10th, 2004 04:00:00 Pitchfork Central Time]

Ashford Tucker reports:
Legendary Talking Heads frontman (and the man Will Bryant calls the James Lipton of rock, thanks to his stint hosting Sessions at West 54th) David Byrne will release a new album, Grown Backwards, on March 16th. The record features three covers: two arias (one by Georges Bizet, another by Giuseppe Verdi) and “The Man Who Loved Beer” by Nashville indie rockers Lambchop. The vocal talents of showtune queen Rufus Wainwright are featured in duet on Bizet’s “Au Fond du Temple Saint.”

Always a master arranger, Byrne offers faithful renditions of his opera fare with the help of a Texan chamber group called the Tosca Strings, whom Byrne toured with in 2001. While he achieves an overall mellow tone on the record, Byrne’s taste in front-beats (African hand drumming, etc.) is indulged tastefully throughout, along with his penchant for the carnival. On the doo-wop number “The Other Side of This Life,” Byrne turns his backup chamber strings into Buddy Holly’s Crickets. “The strings do everything that guitar or keyboards would normally do,” Byrne explained to Rolling Stone. “The band is a groove thing– pretty much me, drums, percussion and bass.”

Whether experimenting with trip-hop, opera or politics, Byrne’s solo work has remained musically interesting. And while his lyrics occasionally stray into the realm of heavy-handed rhetoric, the allegorical tales and straight talk (“I’m glad when the sex is not so great”) keep his work interesting to the greatest of the unwashed. Tracklist:

01 Glass, Concrete and Stone
02 The Man Who Loved Beer [Lambchop]
03 Au Fond du Temple Saint [Georges Bizet]
04 Empire
05 Tiny Apocalypse
06 She Only Sleeps
07 Dialog Box
08 The Other Side of This Life
09 Why
10 Pirates
11 Civilization
12 Astronaut
13 Glad
14 Un di Felice, Eterea [Guiseppe Verdi]

I could not for the life of me get any good sleep last night. Despite going to bed at 9.30. I couldn’t get my mind to shut off, and I couldn’t get comfortable. I know that Andy got up during the night to read for awhile because he couldn’t sleep either. I felt him tossing around. I heard him get up and then awhile later come back into the room. And lie down. And then his gentle snoring. And me staring into the darkness, listening to him breathe and thinking about how I would have to get up for work in a few hours.

So I got up, and showered, and made coffee, and got dressed. And as a result of being up so early, I can now tell you that “Morning Edition” on NPR starts at 4. Before that, it’s still jazz.

I had my oatmeal and logged online and surfed aimlessly for a long, long time. I should have read or tried to read, but nope. Didn’t do it. I left for work extra early, and got here extra early. And had some coffee here. My colleague Joe called in sick (almost wish I could have too), and the big boss is out of the office today. So I’ll be answering the phones and running the “show.” So far, so good.

I can’t say I’m exactly cranky. But I do have that slightly floating feeling, the one you have when you get up really early and throw your routine out of whack. I wonder how brutal this afternoon is going to be. My brain will be like a slug.

After work, I’m going for drinks at http://www.tradervics.com/rest-chicago.html

And before that, since I have some time to kill, I’ll browse Crows Nest Records. They’re going out of business and everything’s on sale.

Today will be a good day.

The snow will start to fly any time now. Another 5 inches by tomorrow morning. I sort of feel melancholy today. I dunno, nothing specific. Maybe I just need a nap. It’s been kind of a poky day here at the office and I’ve been bored with merely surfing online. Haven’t felt inspired to write anything much till now.

Last night, Andy and I went for a drink at Sidetrack. Our favorite bartender was working. She’s a very nice lady in her early 40’s who wears glasses; in a weird way she reminds me of someone’s mom. She makes excellent cocktails. Vodka tonics for Andy and Sapphire Gin martinis with a twist for me. They were playing the crappiest music videos last night. I never thought (or hoped) I’d ever say this, but Kylie Minogue was the evening’s highlight. I like all the places to sit there, but they never have any drink specials. So it sure wasn’t any bargain. I swear, I was the youngest guy there. For some reason it made me feel old, not young. I got a couple of looks. Shrug. For some reason, Andy and I got into a fairly long conversation about Carrie Fisher and “Star Wars.” This is what alcohol does to you.

We were there a few hours. Then it was getting late and I felt overwhelmingly sleepy. We went home. I still feel sleepy. And here we are.

Bush’s approval ratings have finally fallen below 50% for the first time since he took over the White House. Are Americans finally waking up?

Thanks everyone who responded to my last post, which was angry but necessary. It’s heartening to know that despite the great distance between them, there really are people who care about each other. And now for something completely different …

I’m excited that, starting this evening at 9 PM, the Sundance Channel will be showing the entire 11-episode run of Robert Altman’s political satire, “Tanner 88.” This was originally done for HBO. It was written by Gary Trudeau (“Doonsbury”) and stars Michael Murphy as a (fictitious) Democratic presidential candidate. The series basically follows his campaign all the way through the primaries and the party convention, and has him interacting with a bunch of actual politicians. I’ve wanted to see this for so long. Seems like NOW is the perfect time to have this on the airwaves. You can read all about it at http://sundancechannel.com/drafttanner/?PHPSESSID=6d4594b4f93420fa02f0032a20d1a946

Grrr. I hate being the low man on everyone’s social totem pole. One LJ friend has apparently forgotten my existence, blowing me off last weekend without even so much as an ackowledgement. Another friend just informed me that he’s been avoiding contact with me all week because of something I did when I saw him in NYC while I was visiting. We then had an awkward chat online, which ended when he typed “well i better go. bye.” I bought a new cordless phone last Sunday and it has rung EXACTLY ONCE with a phone call for me; the phone call was from a friend who said he’d call me today (and hasn’t). No one in this whole fucking city has even asked me what I’m up to this weekend, let alone if I’D LIKE TO HANG OUT.

And I know that some people like to say, “O well you have a boyfriend. So what are you whining about?” It takes more than a boyfriend, no matter how wonderful or affectionate or fascinating, to have a satisfying social life, folks. It takes friends who aren’t so busy that they forget to call you, or write you an email. It takes friends who actually make a commitment to spend time with you. It takes friends who have the thoughtfulness to say, “Yeah, I haven’t gotten around to reading your book yet, I’m sorry, but it’s on my list,” or “I got the video you sent me but I haven’t been able to watch it yet; I promise I will” or “Thanks a lot for the CD, I’ll tell you what I think once I listen to it” without nagging on my part.

I’m so drained by the effort of trying to hold my friendships together. It seems that 9 times out of 10 I’m the one doing all the work. And I’m tired of trying to form new friendships, only to have them fizzle out because the other person just decides to drop me.

Right now I’m so misanthropic that I feel like going into a cave for a week. But that feeling would go away at once … if only the phone would ring.

Okay, I’m only going to mention how cold it is because … damn, it’s cold.The HIGH today will be 5 degrees (that’s minus 15 degrees celcius to you non-US folks). And happy-go-lucky fellows that we are, Andy & I will be walking around in it for a bit. I’m meeting him at the Newberry at 5 o’clock when he gets off work and from there we’re walking to Fado for some dinner (2-for-1 coupon). Then we’ll kill some time until the the 8.15 show of “Bonnie & Clyde” at the Film Center.

Since I last saw this movie (which was maybe 6 years ago) I’ve become more aware of the critical backlash which has formed against it. Leonard Kastle, who directed “The Honeymoon Killers” (a film that really gripped me), really detests it, for one. And it’s hard not to see Tarantino salivating over “Bonnie & Clyde” as a young video clerk geek. I’m curious to see how I feel after I see it again tonight, on the the Big Screen no less. One thing I fondly remember though is Gene Wilder in a small role, eating fried chicken. Love that man!

The Democratic debate last night was interesting, though I think it was half an hour too short. Gosh, I wish Al Sharpton could be president. He always has the most direct, non-nonsense answers. Last night he said, “And on the subject of Bush not thinking that needs a permission slip to protect the national interest, he doesn’t think that he needs votes in order to be elected, either.” Sharpton would kick some ass! I’d like to see the White House made into a Black House. Lieberman needs to spare us the misery and drop out; his answers were okay, but his braying voice seems more donkey-like each time I hear it. Clark held up well but I just don’t think he has enough traction.

Dean’s statement about the Patriot Act was dead-on, but his awkward, off-the-point attack on Kerry’s Senate record was a big flop. His point (that Kerry sponsored 11 bills that didn’t pass) was pretty weak. Com’on Dean, that’s not how you’re going to win!! What’s worse, Kerry’s rebuttals were solid and did not resort to counter-attack, which made Dean just look like a bully. My heart is still with Dean, but unless he starts being more eloquent and is able to give out some specific points to his various plans, his passion isn’t going to convince the people who need convincing. Which means that Kerry will coast along to the nomination.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m damn well going to vote for Kerry; I might even contribute a few bucks to his campaign. But I still believe that were Dean made president, he would waste no time in reversing many of the Bush administration’s horrors. I think Kerry will make a fine president. He’s just a bit too benign for me.

No other plans this weekend thus far. Need to do more work on the book. This afternoon I’m sending a copy to a very cool Canadian book distro. I sure hope they want to pick it up! That could get at least a few dozen copies out of the apartment.