So, umm, yeah … I’ve been watching a lot of movies this week. In preparation for CIFF, which opens next week. I’ve seen 5 this week (plus the Arthur Russell documentary that I wanted to write up separately). During the festival I hope to see another 10.

When you watch so many movies each day, one right after the other, you reach a state where the movies unspooling in front of you become the true reality and the outside world is just a make-shift mode of living. It’s fun while it lasts. It’s disorienting when it ends.

The financial world seems plenty unreal right now. I don’t own a home. I don’t pay a mortgage. True, I do have a 403(b), but I won’t need to touch it for at least 30 years; all my day-to-day money is safely put away in my ING DIRECT account, earning a steady 3% just sitting there. I’d say that short of a total collapse my job is secure. And even then, I have a fair amount of savings. I have no credit card debt and the last of my student loans will be repaid in January. Also, I don’t own a car, so gas prices don’t immediately affect me.

I’m not saying any of this to brag–just to try and communicate how odd it all feels. It feels like senseless panic, and also completely unsurprising. Who knows how it’ll end up. Money is anything but abstract when you’re very poor or very rich. Yet it’s perplexing to see the rich and the super-rich panic like this when millions of people on this planet live hand-to-mouth every single day. It’s also perplexing to see people totally blown away by the realization that, yes, the stock market is risky; always has been, always will be. Why did you forget? Nothing’s a sure thing.

I need a nap. I need to smoke up. My brain is moving too fast.